Boyfriend Application
About me
Hey there, I'm Destiny Lalane - I’m a Standup Comedian based in Austin, TX. I’m Puerto Rican, Dominican, and Cuban, but I grew up in the US, so I’m whitewashed and lack culture.
When I'm not making people laugh, I'm busy helping companies find their perfect matches (I’m a freelance recruiter). Now, it's time to find mine!
You can learn more about me at destinylalane.com and catch a glimpse of my life on Instagram at instagram.com/destinylalane.
I was born in the 90s, am originally from New York, and have never been married or engaged, and I don’t have kids or pets. I think my ideal partner is 30-40 years old. I eventually want to have kids, but keep in mind my family is so fertile that nieces and nephews are still falling out of my aunts in their 40s so I'm not in a rush. I’m open to speaking to women and men. If you don’t have a gender, we’re probably not a fit.
Who you are
You're a confident, witty individual who appreciates a good laugh and enjoys the occasional adventure. You're supportive, and understanding, and don't mind being the subject of a joke or two. You're open-minded, empathetic, and genuinely interested in connecting with another human being on a deeper level. You're tech-savvy, good with directions, own a laptop, and prioritize your health.
What you'll do
Spend the rest of your life with me
Initiate and engage in meaningful conversations
Be a supportive partner through the highs and lows of life
Champion each other in both personal and professional endeavors
Create a space for vulnerability, softness, and femininity. I’m dominant in my career but I’m really just a 4’11” mush 🙂 so I need someone to balance that.
Requirements
A great sense of humor. This does not mean you have to be funny (or a comedian), but you have to make me laugh. People with a corny sense of humor need not apply. Some people are uncomfortable with the idea of being featured in my work. Most of these people aren’t even interesting enough to inspire me, lol. Be humble.
I'm looking for a boyfriend and eventually a husband. I'm not interested in dating people who are currently married, in an open relationship, or are interested in an open relationship. FFS we’re not in our early 20s living in a major city for the first time. If you’re separated from your ex, I am not interested in dating until your divorce is finalized. I just finished dating someone for a few weeks who claimed to be separated but was very much married.
Excellent communication skills, emotionally available, and mature. I know I come off like a dumb bitch, but I’m actually smart (despite failing out of community college) and enjoy an intellectual conversation.
A positive outlook on life, confident, and a stable income with a healthy work-life balance and little or manageable debt. You should be able to qualify for an apartment to date me, LOL, it’s crazy out here.
Tech-savvy with basic digital skills like using Google Calendar and Google Maps. Great at Googling.
Has big fan energy. We champion each other and believe in each other. They are loyal and honor their commitments. They create a space for me to be the soft, vulnerable, feminine woman I am meant to be.
An interest in working out and maintaining good health.
Nice to haves
Snowboarding or skiing enthusiast. I love snowboarding and don’t want to go on snowboarding trips alone for the rest of my life.
Remote work capabilities. You don’t have to work for yourself or be 100% remote, but I do travel and move often and would like to date someone who likes doing the same and is able to.
A knack for cooking delicious meals. I love cooking and enjoy learning more about food. I’m looking for someone who wants to cook together, not someone who is looking to be mothered.
Benefits and Perks
Unlimited laughter and good times
Love and support and loyalty
A loving and supportive partner in crime
Occasional surprise romantic gestures
Compensation
This is an unpaid role with unlimited growth potential and the potential for equity.
Location
This role is onsite based in Austin, Texas but is open to candidates willing to relocate themselves to the area.
Timeline
We’re looking for the right fit since this role can only be filled by one.
Sponsorship
While I cannot guarantee visa sponsorship, I’ll disclose that I am a US citizen and would like to continue living in the United States as that’s the best option for my standup comedy career.
Interview Process
Phone Screen - 15-minutes with the hiring manager (me)
Zoom Screen - 45-minute deep dive into your history
Onsite - 1.5 hours, we can have a sober date or have 2 drinks max over dinner
Final Onsite - 2 hours, you’ll meet my friends in a social setting
Destiny Lalane is committed to promoting inclusivity and embracing diversity. People of all colors, gender identities, sexual orientations, ages, veteran statuses, and abilities are encouraged to apply.
As this is not a formal job, we are not subject to EEOC requirements.
We are an equal opportunity partner and value the unique backgrounds and experiences that each individual brings. We will ensure that individuals with disabilities are provided reasonable accommodation to participate in the application or interview process, to perform essential relationship functions, and to receive other benefits and privileges of partnership.
To apply, submit an application below. All other messages and emails regarding this role will be ignored.
Final note: I know I posted this on social media and that I am a comedian who tends to shit post, but I am in fact single and looking for a partner. As long as you’re respectful, follow the application process, and accept if you get declined the opportunity to interview, I will not be offended if you apply. :)